Thoughts

So many questions
So much pain
So many wishes
Will my life be the same?

So many answers
So many ways
So many choices
Why is life this way?

What is not, can come
What is, can change
Why dont I know the answer?
To happiness, yet pain

I read, I admire
I read, I ignore
Why cant I implement
What feels right, yet strange?

Who am I, where should I go?
I dont know, dont dare
Dont choose, dont change

Inner struggles, inner change
Inner conflicts, inner pain

Yet dozens of reasons, challenges and games

Wilhelmina, 6/14/03

天氣不怎麼冷的聖誕

這個聖誕，沒踏足過市區半步。大概是我懂得自己外出去玩後的第一次。

24 和25號晚上，雖然貪玩細胞一直在癢，但最終仍是乖乖呆在家中。
晚上到附近隨便找點吃的時候，看到街上明顯地比平日還要冷清。
而且周圍的聖誕氣氛也不濃厚，這令我有種好像戒嚴中的城市的錯覺。

生活圈子日漸縮窄，只要友人們當中有一兩個在忙，似乎就找不到人陪伴；
加上自己越來越沒guts去接觸新朋友…
這種癢，看來會癢很久。

Surrender

Lyrics: Angela Aki
Music: Angela Aki

The one who gifts you, the one who lifts you
She's the angel in your eyes
Tiny kisses and magic wishes
Makes the world a big surprise
Growing older, past the shoulder
When everything seems bright
Time just races-changing faces in the light

Then you see the world gets smaller
And you're taller than the sky
She's no longer the stronger
And as you battle to survive
You try to bend her; can't defend her
There's no wrong; there is no right
No one surrenders-only contenders in this fight

I know the madness, felt the sadness
Resisted just this way
Stuffed the feelings kept concealing
All the things you want to say
But it's not treason; she's not the reason
It's the season of your life
The winds will soften and let the winter fade away

You have to mend it; you have to end it
Before the chance passes by
Break down the fences your defenses
Open your heart; you have to try
To trust your senses; no more pretenses
And you'll rise above
When you surrender to all the splendor of her love

The one who gifts you, the one who lifts you
She's the angel in your eyes
The one who stayed there so unafraid there
All through innocence's demise
Growing older, as you hold her
Once again it seems all right
Time just races-changing faces in the light

Go on mend it; Go on and end it
Before the chance passes by
Break down the fences and your defenses
Open your heart you have to try
To trust your senses; no more pretenses
I believe you'll rise above
When you surrender to all the splendor of her love
When you surrender to all the splendor of her love